The Illusion Of Control

   This post is Part Two, an extension of the post from last week,  Are We Worrying Too Much?  

   While it’s true that we worry more than we should, it begs the question why. Why are so many robbed of the joy of living by uncontrollable things? 

   I might have the answer.

        Are We Carrying More Than We Were Meant To?

   As responsible adults, we are given a commission to do our part in the world. We have people counting on us and obligations to fulfill. Our parents raised us to do the hard work we may not feel like doing. No one wants to be the weak link that lets everyone down. 

   Civilization functions because the individual performs its role. Regardless of the level of importance, the many small parts work together to make the larger machine operate. 

   It’s a good system and all goes well when everyone takes it seriously.

   While not advocating for irresponsibility, one has to wonder if human beings may not go overboard with the sense of duty. 

   Taking things seriously and  performing the given tasks may give a person a false sense of control. 

   Herein lies the problem.

                                The Illusion Of Control

   Many stress and worry because they are doing the work but not seeing the hoped for result. This attachment to outcomes creates anxiety and leaves people feeling responsible for things they can't control. It’s a real issue since we all have several layers of things to be serious about; career, family, health, and the condition of our nation. The weight on our shoulders builds up. 

                           The Relief Of Limited Jurisdiction

   If you’re a Christian, you believe that God gave mankind a mandate to rule over the planet and take care of things. 

   He absolutely did, but it doesn’t cover everything. For example, the planets are moving and rotating in their circuits without any intervention from us. The tides of the oceans function pretty well without human supervision. 

   And this is a wonderful thing. Can you imagine if Congress had the  responsibility of making the sun rise in the east every morning?    

   We would spend our lives in the dark. 

   What about the seasons? The whole plan is set in motion and summer follows spring. What if we had to discuss and reach a consensus on which season should come next? 

   Or weather, the farmers need some rain but the organizers of the graduation ceremonies and wedding planners demand a clear blue sky. 

   No. God didn’t want us to be lazy and do nothing but didn’t want us to run the show either. 

   This is a liberating truth. It’s a relief not to have responsibility for things we can’t control. 

   I will play my part and show up when expected, but refuse accountability for issues out of my jurisdiction.   

                        The Problem Of Seriousness

   Alan Watts was a British philosopher, speaker and author who became popular in the sixties and early seventies.

   Watts struck on this notion before I ever did. He surmised that suffering stems from an attachment to seriousness, that most people hold a grim conviction about life. 

   Because they are responsible, they work and strive to reach goals as though God was a supernatural scorekeeper in the sky, judging each day as valuable or a waste. It’s a perspective that life is an exam to be passed or a problem to be solved.

   What if it’s not?

   What if the pressure we place on ourselves is completely unnecessary? Would you feel relieved?  Or perhaps slightly indignant because you’ve been working so hard? 

                                 The Trap Of Significance

   Alan Watts offers the idea that we are over-serious because of the need for significance. Being a capable adult and not a deadbeat drives our performance anxiety. The comparison factor of social media doesn’t allay these fears at all.

   He compares this relentless drive to the actions of the happiest people on earth: Children. 

   Anyone who has seen a child at play knows how they never consider if they are playing correctly, looking silly to others or close to reaching the finish line of playing. They just live their lives and are content with it.  

   Kids live in the moment and enjoy their life. They don’t really care what comes next. 

                             Living Freely And Lightly

   I can sense the pushback. I’m an adult with a growing to-do list, not a four year old with no responsibilities. 

   Of course.

   But what if you had Divine permission from the scorekeeper in the sky mentioned above, to re-evaluate life and remove the pressure?

   “Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. . . Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. . . .Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matt 11 The Message.

   Did you notice the language? Unforced rhythms of grace, freely and lightly. That was Jesus of Nazareth speaking. But our modern minds will hear: More! Faster! Is that all you have? Hurry.

   For your own well-being, you can choose to ignore many of society’s expectations, scale back the need for significance and purpose a little. 

   Remember how it felt to be a kid, act as though nothing is depending on you. You might notice playfulness return as performance anxiety recedes. Life is short. Have fun, be whimsical and silence the Drill Sergeant in your head. You deserve a day off from responsibilities barking orders at you. Don’t stress over what you can’t control and release responsibilities that were never yours to carry. Feel free to leave a comment if you can relate.